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But, I didn’t care I agreed to all the things immediately. My only agenda was to get close to her. A couple of days later I moved in, and I already masturbated number of times thinking of her.First day in the evening she was cooking and asked what I’d like to eat, I said anything is fine. She said ok and said she will do rajma and roti, I said I’ll help her and I stood besides her while she was cooking. Her odor was killing me inside, I immediately wanted to grab her, kiss and make love with her. But, I controlled and in the middle of cooking I went to restroom and masturbated. This went on for a couple of days. Then on the third day in evening we were both at home, she asked me shall we go for a walk.I immediately said yes, and the streets around us were very dark, people don’t walk on roads much here. While walking we asked about each other, she didn’t tell me about her situation and said she is single and told about her family back in India. Then we went home, I was a little. I'll miss the friends I made here. I'll definitely miss the grad student lifestyle, especially on Monday mornings. However, I won't miss being a grad student, if that makes any sense at all.I suspect that many of you know how difficult it is to put on a mask every day before leaving the house and keep it on--no matter how it chafes--until you go home at night. I had to put on my grad student mask--the one where I'm enthusiastic and passionate about my research and science in general--on a daily basis, or risk losing my position at Hopkins. Compared to what other people suffer on a regular basis, I know that my problems don't even come close to showing up on the radar. But for me, it's painful as hell.Most people would say, "You should be grateful you're getting paid a reasonable stipend (my snipes about the size of my stipend notwithstanding, I was paid a fair amount over minimum wage just to do research and earn my doctorate; my colleagues over in the social sciences are much less.
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